Meandering(s)

Bangalore Photography Workshop - Making Pictures

2011-05-22T10:16:00.003+05:30

ProPix is conducting the Making Pictures Photography Workshop in Bangalore and a few other cities. The calendars are being worked out for the entire roadshow, and will be published over the next few weeks. The basic criteria for the workshop is that the participant needs to have a camera that will allow manual settings of aperture, shutter speed, ISO settings. Anything from a bridge camera to a DSLR would do just fine. So, it really does not matter whether a person is a Nikon, Canon, Olympus or any other brand user.

ProPix has a photography workshop that promises to take your photography a few notches higher.

France

2009-07-08T17:00:00.002+05:30

"Barack Obama was in Germany today, and 100,000 people showed up. There were so many Germans shouting and screaming that France surrendered just in case." -Craig Ferguson

End Of The World. Or Is It?

2009-03-19T12:54:00.007+05:30

The news and especially TV, went a little over board, if you know what I mean, when they were reporting on the LHC (Large Hadron Collider) at CERN, and the impending catastrophe when it swallowed the planet and spat us out into some blackhole or something.

If you are one of those who remember that, and have been using is to explain your insomnia, you can always check this site for the latest status on any catastrophic, earth-engulfing side effects.

According to the people at CERN, the smaller the object you are studying, the bigger the detector you need to see it. That's the reason you need something that is 27 kilometers around, instead of something smaller like a microscope that you would use to study bacteria. After all, we are talking about sub-atomic particle here...

The Terminal Man Flu Disease

2008-12-22T07:05:00.003+05:30

Jay Hilligrass has the man flu, perhaps the most dangerous disease ever known.
This part is for Bhavna: Most men I know have had that. It usually means that the wife/woman has to wait on him, hand and foot, make all his favourite meals, mop his fevered brow and speak in low soothing tones. With expert care and attention from doting wife/woman, he will soon recover. Try forcing him some medicinal beer. Maybe a six-pack. You may need to tie him down for the beer medication. Oh, and there really is no reason to call a priest. Don't worry if he loses his appetite for you every hour or so. That bit usually comes right back. With a vengeance!

There, there, there Jay! I'm sure you'll get through it and be better soon.

New strains of the Man Flu virus spreads through cyberspace, I've heard...

Obama-ed

2008-12-15T10:35:00.004+05:30

"Obama says he is promising not to smoke cigarettes while in the White House. I don't know — is that a big issue for the average American? Hey — if he fixes the economy, he can smoke a bong in the White House." -Jay Leno

About Me...

2008-11-08T09:18:00.003+05:30

About Ronnie: I think I have had another one of those lifechanging discoveries about myself.
I believe that I too am like a lot of other people, who are unwilling to sell their souls; but am usually not opposed to renting it out for an hour or two.

On Death Wishes...

2008-11-08T09:15:00.002+05:30

"The good thing about having a death wish is that you're muchmore likely to get that wish than, say, the one about alingerie-clad Nicole Kidman stopping by your apartment withbeer and pizza." --Maurizio Mariotti

Radio Indigo - Two Years And Counting

2008-09-19T07:58:00.003+05:30

Gave my soundbite to Radio Indigo today.
They've just completed two years of operations and are celebrating the anniversary today, on air.
Meghna and Saggy seem to be having a ball. Radio Indigo has been a very unique experience. They are an all English station, and I started listening to them when they were on WorldSpace, and then they moved to FM 91.9 in Bangalore.
A well balanced library ensures that their programming is nicely laid out, with a spread aimed at almost every genre of music that I can think of.
Personally, I think Radio Indigo is plugged-in, and it shows. My favourite is Rohit Barker, doing his usual zany/fruit-cake thing from 5:00PM till 8:00PM on the weekdays, and the retro show on Staturday mornings.

Royal Enfield Bullet Web Site

2008-06-03T11:14:00.006+05:30

I was just reviewing the logs of my sites, and my Royal Enfield Bullet site, which is the oldest amongst all the websites I run, is still getting between 70 and 160 visitors a day on an average. The last peak was 228 visitors in May, and 247 visitors in March, on a single day. Now, if only that site was selling something, like Nikon D300 SLR cameras, professional photography, or web design services, I would atleast have been smilling halfway to the bank... not Swiss, but definitely a Bangalore bank.

The Nikon D300 Camera

2008-05-04T20:42:00.003+05:30

It's been sometime, and I have been wanting to get my hands on the Nikon D300 DSLR. This is the the professional Digital SLR body from Nikon. It's got all the bells and whistles, and has been getting rave reviews across the world.

In Bangalore there is only one trusted retailer I know about, ProPix. There are others too with a good reputation for sourcing the stuff, but I think I will just bank on Propix for now...

All About Kanpur News

2008-05-04T20:19:00.005+05:30

I was nosing around the web looking for something and then got distracted, because I saw a mention of leather. So thought of Parvez Kabir. Parvez deals in leather and finished leather products. He was my classmate and good friend. Solid realiable type fellow...

Anyway, I searched Google for Kanpur news, and the results had me sit up, take notice and burst out laughing. The news all speaks about fire... the headlines go like this..., "Major fire guts houses in Kanpur", then there is, "Woollen mill gutted in huge inferno in Kanpur" and yet another one, "UP oil refining factory catches fire", and, "Fire in Kanpur guts a chemical factory"... There was also some rioting for electricity...

Somebody needs to tell Raj Thackery, that he really doesn't have to rail against north Indians... the northies are doing the job just fine, burning down the country city by city, starting with Kanpur.
Maybe I should call Parvez and tell him to re-locate. Maybe Raminder Singh, and Anil Gujral, Rajesh Narayan, and Alok Narayan, Desmond John, and all the others. With all those fires, it may be just a little bit safer in Mumbai.

Celebrity Weddings

2008-04-15T08:48:00.000+05:30

"Jay-Z and Beyonce — it has been confirmed: they finally tied the knot. They got married. If you want get them something, they are registered at 'Bed, Bath, & Booty.'" -Craig Ferguson

Being Gillian Anderson

2008-04-10T12:44:00.006+05:30

This post is triggered by a recent conversation with an avid Quentin Tarantino fan. I was told that it was Gillian Anderson who was striding around in The Last King Of Scotland, while I insisted that it wasn't... After all, we are supposed to be able to recognize our lady from our best geek drama ever. Anyway, I ended up with egg on my face (two times, actually).And about being Agent Dana Scully, Fox Mulder's sidekick in x-Files...:
STRENGHTS: With her MD and her FBI training, Scully should have been the lead.
WEAKNESSES: When your partner must constantly explaing that you are dealing with the paranormal, you're the sidekick!
(Wired quote)

Mahindra Bolero Invader - 10,000 kilometers & Counting

2008-03-25T16:44:00.003+05:30

10,000 Kilometers and counting!

Mahindra and Mahindra's Bolero Invader is perhaps the quintessential niche vehicle. The jeep in it's many formats/avatars has held the crown of ultimate off-roader ever since it was introduced to the to the general public (a.k.a. civilians). This SUV's lineage goes back more than 60 years to the original military "Jeep," the now-legendary 4x4 that transported World War II soldiers and supplies over very rough terrain. The original story of the Jeep would however be too long to be part of this small review I am trying to do...

For a little background, The Invader replaces (in my opinion), the MM540. The MM540 was good. With all its quirks and problems it was still good enough to have sold vast numbers across India, in both urban, rural and in between markets.
The Bolero Invader betters the MM540 in almost every way, and can be clearly labeled a major revision. Perhaps the most important of the Invader's refinements is suspension. On my 2WD Invader the suspension is far better than the MM540's. The front suspension is independent coil springs and while the rear still rides on ancient leaf springs, from the WWII Willy's. I also felt that the Invader has far better wheel travel, ground clearance and articulation on rough surfaces.

Under the bonnet, is the reliable and muscular Turbo Charged 2.6 DI engine, variants of which have been fitted an many platforms from Mahindra. I did feel that there should have been an option for a larger engine for enthusiasts. Of course, if your Bolero Invader is more likely to be parked at a mall or a disco than on the raging riverbed in the middle of nowhere, this may not be of great interest.

What will really warm you up is the outstanding paint job, very good quality nylon soft top, ruggedness and engineering. I have now taken the Invader out a few times, to places where there were no roads, or even paths for that matter. I have taken the jeep to places where the "roads" was that wide space between tree lines, that I assumed did have roads a few decades ago. At all these places the Invader excelled. The ride is far better than the old Gypsy and more torquey than the CJ3xx Jeeps (later renamed as Classic), and of course the MM540s. The Invader develops more than enough torque, which translates to pulling power, to keep you chugging along all day. Whether you are straddled in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the highway, or off-road. Off road, is where the Bolero Invader shines! If your tyre can climb it, the rest of the Invader will follow.

The raised roof is a wonderful thing, in the Bolero Invader. Very nice for extremely tall mutants, or if you own a pet giraffe.

The steering, is not power assisted, and I do tend to break a sweat when I try to park in congested places, which is usually rare. In really congested places, or when I am hitting the town, I just choose to take my Fiat Palio 1.6 GTX instead. I have been driving the Invader to office since November, and I have not had a single day or instance where I was not happy with it's performance or reliability. That includes sitting in the drivers seat for long durations, waiting for traffic jams on Old Madras Road to clear.

The Invader is pretty well behaved at speed on the highways and the Golden Quadrilateral, although it's not the most lithesome lane-changer ever created. The clutch and brakes are both power assisted and the effort is as expected. The brakes though, can surprise you with loud howling tyres, when you jab it sharply. See, the brakes do not have a very good "feel" to it, as like in more refined cars (like my Fiat Palio 1.6 GTX), the braking is not progressive in modulation...

Built on a ladder chassis, the Invader displays remarkable rigidity, inspite of it.

The gears are easy to shift and operate. Mine is smoother than a Japanese vehicle's. The gearing, I think is well spread, though the overdrive (5th gear) seems a little too tall at 0.75.
Fuel economy. Now this is where Mahindra actually reaches to the masses. The Invader shines with a City average of about 13.7 kilometers to a litre of Diesel, and on the highway, I get a class beating 17.5...! If I need any more economy, I can very well use a bicycle.

Service and support, is very good. I have been getting calls on a fortnightly basis from both the dealer, India Garage, and also from Mahindra & Mahindra, Mumbai asking me for feedback and to check if I was having any issues that needed to be addressed. They are prompt and fastidious in their work. Workmanship is good, and I have not had a need for revisits to the dealer's.

And now, the beatings...

The dashboard is the crappiest, cheapest and worst plastics I have ever seen in my lifetime. I think the old Premier Padmini had better plastics than the Invader. The plastics suck. The steering wheel plastics suck. The trim inside, sucks. Mahindra & Mahindra, urgently needs to replace the front bucket seats into something that is more touring friendly. Even the Scorpio's front bucket seats will do. But change, they must. The current seats do not provide adequate lower back support.

The turbocharged 2.6 DI engine is a fine thing if you are lugging 16 people in some God forsaken village in the boondocks with the jeep as a people carrier, or crossing a rocky river bed where it performs swimmingly, but in Bangalore city, where we have to compete for road space and eyeballs with the likes of the Pajero, the Endeavor and Porches, the Bolero Invader with all that noise and brouhaha, accelerates with the élan and fizz of a constipated bowel movement.

Concluding-ly, why did I get me a Bolero Invader, instead of a Scorpio, or even a Bolero SLX or similar? Simple - Affordability (and a few other reasons).

The Bolero Invader is so insanely affordable to own and maintain. It costs next to nothing in Bangalore, about Rs.5,25,000. It's very frugal with fuel (see numbers in article above). It can be repaired by anyone with a hammer, including yours truly and also by bicycle mechanics.

When I sit in the driver's seat, I can see the whole world. When the streets of Bangalore are flooding in the rains, I know that I can make it home without getting my shoes wet, or stalling in the rain. When I turn the key on that ignition, I know that I am going get the ride of my life.
I absolutely enjoy it.
Every time.

How it came to be so...

2008-03-15T18:17:00.001+05:30

"Adam," the heavenly voice called to the Garden of Eden, "what did you and Eve do today?" "We ate some fruit, Lord," Adam said reverently. "Did you eat of the forbidden tree?" asked God. "Yes, Lord, we did," Adam confessed. "And then what did you do?" God asked. "We made mad, passionate love all afternoon." "Where is Eve now?" the Lord bellowed. "She's down at the brook washing herself out." "Oh, no," the Lord moaned." Now all the fish are going to smell like that!"

About Men

2008-03-11T11:07:00.003+05:30

Millions of dollars worth of effort and resources have been spent every few years or so, by people trying to figure out what men really want.
There have been surveys, there have been brain tests, interrogations, beatings and sometimes even Mata Hari...

Really, it actually very simple... I will just come out and say it.
Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

Bangalore Photos - MG Road

2008-01-08T08:17:00.000+05:30

December is usually a busy time, for Brigade Road and MG Road in Bangalore.

This year however, seemed to be really dull and lifeless, on both of these roads, Bangalore's busiest shopping districts. Two factors affecting the scene seems to be massive competition from all the malls, and colder than usual weather. Yeah, Bangalore was colder than ever, with temeperature hitting a 124 year low of 14 degrees Centigrade! The bad weather was caused by a depression in the Bay Of Bengal, the same one that caused a cyclone in Bangladesh.

The family owned stores on Brigade Road and MG Road have existed for many long decades, and almost every big global brand is represented here.

I am posting a few images here, as part of the pictures of Bangalore series.

Barton Centre - 13 stories, and a landmark.

For as far as anyone can remember, they have been going to Gangarams for books and stationaries. If something is not available off-the-shelf, they also help you source it from anywhere n the world (mostly).

The Plaza Theatre is now defunct. They are already pulling don the interiors. I think the last movie I saw here was over 5 years ago... It used to be nice, with wooden floors, good screens and audio, and HUGE rats that used to run around between your feet while you are watching a movie. Scary shit!

If you want used (second hand) books, usually fiction, these people on MG road's sidewalks sell it to you for Rs20.00 (about half a US dollar).

I am seriously considering a professionally designed website with an image gallery. ProPix does do good work...

Bangalore Photographs - Brigade Road

2008-01-08T08:12:00.000+05:30

This is the last of the Brigade Road series of photographs...

Bangalore Photos - Brigade Road

2008-01-08T08:08:00.000+05:30

Some more photographs from Brigade Road...

Bangalore Photos - Brigade Road

2008-01-07T19:13:00.001+05:30

Photos From Brigade Road

I really need to get in touch with ProPix. I need a well designed, professional web site with a dedicated image gallery... Nothing like getting a website designed by professionals, especially if they are designers and pro photographers.

Where is Cindu Chandrasekharan...?

2007-12-15T15:09:00.001+05:30

I was doing my usual Wiki thing and I dropped in on the Radio Indigo listing there. I saw that Cindu was still listed there as one of the RJs...

However, Cindu has been off air for more than two months now.

Wonder where she moved on to... I would love to know.

Nowadays, it's Malavika hosting Indigo Rising, from 7:00AM to 11:00 AM. She plays good music too, and then I got to go on air, about a Wrangler quiz...

Malavika has also been hosting the Saturday retro slot, which I like anyway... So I guess, we will have to give credit where it is due. Malvika has been doing a good job.

Then we have Rohit Barker. Brother Barker for some. Me, I just remember him as that VERY young guy on TV a few years ago. Next moment here he is, all setled down and doing the RJ thing at the local radio station. In many ways, I think that's a very generous thing, reaching out and staying in touch with the community. Press has it that he will be playing in places really far from home, different cities or countries... In this season, that does work out to good money... but we will miss him around here.

Ahh, Bangalore city. I absolutely love how this town has a good taste for music.

The Bush Man. Again.

2007-11-23T15:41:00.000+05:30

"President Bush met at the White House with Jordan's King Abdullah. Yeah, there was one awkward moment when President Bush asked King Abdullah, 'How is Queen Latifah?'" --Conan O'Brien

I like Humour

2007-11-22T14:09:00.000+05:30

I like Jay Leno, and the Tonight Show...

He can usually come up with thing like, "This bird flu is pretty is pretty scary. I spent an hour
last night rubbing Vicks Vapo-rub on my parakeet."

Or this one:

"In front of a crowd in Florida this past weekend, Al Gore said that, "The people of the United States are going to stand up and take our country back." And then the manager of the karaoke bar took the microphone away and said, 'Either sing or sit down buddy.'"

Or:

"President Bush made a surprise stop in Afghanistan today on his way to India. He didn't want to. He bought his ticket on priceline.com."

Or this:

"President Bush is back. He finished up his trip to India. He accomplished all he wanted to accomplish there. He signed a nuclear agreement, he got their pledge to help fight terrorism and he got his laptop fixed."

Or

"Here is a very odd story. A woman in Tennessee is now suing a local pharmacy after buying what she thought were birth control patches. They turned out to be nicotine patches. The good news, her new baby is now down to a half a pack a day."

Then there are fantastic humourists like Conan O'Brien: Earlier today at the White House, President Bush met with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. There was an awkward moment when Bush asked 'How long until the new season of The Sopranos?

And Tim Allen: "Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was
grounded."

But then only an Indian, would come up with something like this...: "My dad, he's a nuclear physicist, my mom, she's a mathematician, my brother is a chemical engineer..., and I like to
color." --Shashi Bhatia

Kindle-d...!

2007-11-21T13:42:00.000+05:30

Ah, Apple and Amazon are at it again... trying to regain past glories. One with a product and one with a service.
Predictably, the natives are grumbling, and a bit noisily at that. It's like this. Historically, there has been, and always will be a comparison. In this case, the comparison of the Kindle is with Sony's Reader.
Kindle, launched on Monday 19th, is a thin/slim hand held device, which is essentially an eBook reader. It can store approximately 200 novels' or so worth of words. Like the Sony Reader Launched atleast a year ago, uses electronic ink as its technology. Electronic ink technology works by physically arranging a dark chemical under the screen. This in turn displays text so clearly and crisply, that is becomes indistinguishable from..., say, ink on a page.

But the Kindle does what the Sony Reader, doesn't do. The Kindle uses connectivity to Amazon's servers with an EVDO cellular connection to download books, from a library stock of more than 90,000 titles. And this, it does wirelessly..., pulling an entire novel's text directly onto the device in less than a minute.

The Kindle weighs in at just 10 ounces, in America. For the rest of the world, the Kindle weighs in at just under 300 grams.

Now for the disclamer part: I have not (yet) got or used a Kindle. The reader, I did handle. This blog is based entirely on what I have read all over the web and magazines.

Some Stats:
Cost:$399
Battery Life: 30hours
Recharges in:2 hours
Screen Size: 6 inches diagonal

The Kindle is a little off-white in color, and definitely not as good looking as the Sony Reader. Agreed, that there is an added keypad, and the thing only increased the weight by about 1.4 ounces over the Sony reader, but then IMHO, it should definitely have had PDF compatibility. And a few more formats. Right now, it depends on external apps for this. Future, maybe...

If Amazon wants to sell the Kindle, it will urgently need to get rid of user reviews from it's own site! Chronologically, these are some flutters from around the time of the launch:

0649 Hours — Gadget Lab scribe Charlie Sorrel reports that the release of the Kindle is at hand. He initially posts about a 30 hour battery life (two hours to recharge), 10.3 ounce weight, and direct download (EVDO on Sprint) with no computer required.

Amazon's Kindle Gets Official
1106 Hours — Gadget Lab Guru Rob Beschizza compares the Kindle directly to its main competitor; the Sony Reader. His findings? The Sony sports a far sexier form factor but the Kindle (with its extra features) has an edge when it comes to function. But the lack of native PDF reader on the Kindle? That pretty much left everyone scratching their heads.

Amazon Kindle Vs. Sony Reader
1254 Hours — Rob B. expands on the fact that PDFs won't read on the Kindle. FAIL.

Amazon's Kindle: What Files Will and Won't Work
1818 Hours — The Giz's Wilson Rothman does a hands-on with the unit. His findings highlight everything from the Kindle's boot up time (4 seconds) to responsiveness of the keyboard (not very).

All Kindle All The Time
2001 Hours — Jose Fermoso crafts a delicious paella of reviews from a slurry of different sources. Pubs from Time to Newsweek to TechCrunch weigh in on the device.

In my opinion the built-in wireless capability of the Kindle will help shape how the device evolves over time. In all probability, prompting similar tie-ups for Sony too. Whether this is going to ever replace the way we use and read books is going to change, we will just have to wait and see.

The P-Lite system

2007-10-23T15:59:00.000+05:30

This light is used on the periphery of our two wheeler parking lot at work. It's quite well constructed, with a nice energy efficient CFL lamp (Compact Flourescent Lamp), glowing white at night.

What with a fellow employee suffering a snake bite when the reptile coiled itself somewhere under the fuel tank of his bike, and when startled, bit him. The admin department now repaired all the non-working lights and keep them lit till late in the night, so that there are no more snake bite incidents at work...

That said, this light is about 2 feet tall from the ground and the light is at about knee level. Just off the ground is a box where all the electrical connections are barely concealed. It cracks us up everytime we pass by the light because there is this neat little printing on the metal reflector which states "P-Lite"...

I wonder if the little mutts will forgive us if it ever uses this light as a fire hydrant.

The P-Lite!

Intimate - In Bangalore

2007-10-23T15:49:00.000+05:30

This is something that I had been wanting to share for quite sometime, but never passed that way in the day time, so was not able to photograph it earlier.

The signboard says "Intimate Carr" and is a used car lot / showroom...

Now, bearing in mind everything we know and feel about used cars and used car dealers, and that too in Bangalore city, you just know that these guys are just stating the obvious. Yes, you get that certain "intimate" feeling after you have had a dealing with them, I am sure...

But then this is not the only time or place you see really funny signages... Signboards like the "Honest Bakery" chain in Kerala is another... And then there is P-Lite...

Photos Of Bangalore

2007-10-15T18:46:00.000+05:30

All the images in this post have been taken with a Sony Ericsson K790i cell phone. It's a 3.2 megapixel camera, but nowhere close to my Nikon D80...

Firoze (not in this picture) is my mechanic, for my Royal Enfield Bullet. The workshop is called Mehboob Garage, and is located on Nrupathunga Road. Whenever I go there, I can be guaranteed that there will be atleast two or three guys swarming over my bike, trying to fix things, lube the chain, and stuff like that. The Firoze will walk up, inspect the bike, and if required make a quick adjustment and I am off... Yeah, like an F1 pit crew...:)

Really bad traffic jam the other day on Cubbon Road, Bangalore. All I could do was switch of the engine, and do stuff. Like take pictures in the rear-view mirror of my Fiat Palio 1.6 GTX...

This is a sign stating the fines that you pay, when you are caught red-handed by the same traffic police, that I have mentioned elsewhere in these blogs, earlier. Now, as of today's exchange rate, the the highest fine of Rupees 300 works out to just about US$ 7.1...! Moral of the story, if you want to violate traffice rules, come to India, especially Bangalore. We let you off easy. Really cheap, infact.

UB... All new buildings coming up, rapidly changing the skyline around Bangalore. From the looks of it, a lot of thought went into the design..

Well, that concludes this post. I will try getting some more, as time goes by. The primary reason I am doing this series is, because I keep getting the question, "So, how is Bangalore these days?"

Quiet Sunday Evening

2007-10-15T08:03:00.001+05:30

Here are some pictures of Bangalore on a peaceful Sunday evening. I think most people stayed off the road because it was Eid. I actually got to drive in 4th gear on MG Road...

Lights are really fading over Ulsoor lake, Bangalore. Shot using Nikon D80, at ISO 800, f/4, Shutter 1/3second, Sigma ultra wide at 10mm, .

The Great Lenovo Rip Off

2007-10-15T06:29:00.000+05:30

Lenovo tied up with Radio Indigo 91.9 FM to broadcast from the Y410 series DJ console from October 1 to 6, from 7 am to 8 pm. The studio was situated in a life size laptop for seven days, on Cunningham Road, Bangalore.

Lenovo created a giant Laptop, and situated it 20 feet in the air. The screen had a window, that looked into the studio from which Radio Indigo was broadcasting. Shows were hosted by RJs Malavika, Meghana Dhawan, Ayesha D'Souza and Rohit Barker, for the duration, and was constantly running live from the "Laptop" during the day.

So, there was this contest, where they were giving away a Lenovo Y410 laptop. To get a chance at winning, the public were supposed to SMS three features of the laptop to Radio Indigo, and they would eventually select a lucky winner...

Well, I messaged, and got sortlisted along with 2 other contestants. There was Miriam a content developer, and there was Neha, a designer.

The final round was where we were asked to write down the most features that we could of the laptop, in 40 seconds. So we all wrote. At the end of the 40 seconds, I handed over the longest list of features of the Lenovo Y410, including FSB speeds and display configs, ports, etc. After all, I am an IT guy, dealing with this on an everyday basis.

However, the "judge" in this case, looked at the features listed by all participants, and promptly declares one of the ladies in question as the winner.

Now, I know exactly what happenned.

The guy (Judge) from Lenovo or Radio Indigo, was so clueless about configs, could not recognise what I listed as configs, instead chose the lady 'cos she listed what was in the brochure. I know this because I saw and heard the fellow convincing everyone else that the lady was the winner, and the list I submitted was incorrect.

Lenovo, I know what happenned. Radio Indigo, I know that atleast 4 of your company was there when the "judge" argued his way through to the winner. I saw that...!

Technically, I won.

However, I did manage to walk away, with out making the scene that would have happenned, if I did protest about it.

I wonder how our friend Rajesh D..., of Lenovo would feel, when he finds out that I am going to do everything I can to ensure that Lenovo as a brand will be mud, atleast as far as my small world of influence is concerned. I am also wondering why Lenovo did not send someone who could read specs in English, after all, I am sure that the user manuals are still in English and not Chinese. I got my set of specs for the xxx42Q and the xxx45Q from the Lenovo site...

Just in case, anyone's interested, I am not a sour loser. I did not want to write this up, but my friends believe that I should atleast voice my concerns.

Oh, and I got to see Ayesha....:) However, due to the type of audience I have here, I will reserve my comments though...

I truly lamented my not carrying apolarizer filter. I could have removed the reflection in the glass of the studio, and you too could have seen atleast a bit of her too...:) Red arrow on the image below...

Rohit Barker, (or Brother Barker) is the original funny man. Attitude and humour. Never a dull moment when he is on air.

I do miss Cindu though... She was good to listen to in the mornings.

Malvika, confuses me. She plays oldies like she is Parsee, or even Anglo. Absolutely smashing playlists...

The Mahindra & Mahindra Bolero Invader

2007-10-04T12:42:00.000+05:30

I finally got around to biting the bullet and applying for the leased vehicle option and chose to go with the Mahindra And Mahindra Bolero Invader.

This is the very basic vehicle and the one I chose was without the 4WD, as i think I should just add a good winch and it should be able to haul me out of most sticky situations.

I have had quite some experience with another Mahindra vehicle, the MM540 of the yester years, but the Invader is nothing like the old docile MM540.

The Bolero Invader that I have features a 2.5 liter turbo charged direct injection engine. It has a lot of torque when and where I want it, and an extremely usable powerband.

About the vehicle buying experience, the less said the better..., mostly.

The dealer, India garage was very nice and they were all very friendly and helpful. I found I did not have to even budge from my chair in my office. They took care of everything.

The manufacturer, Mahindra and Mahindra, were outstandingly helpful with all the questions that I had about the vehicle. I started the whole shopping activity with an eye on the very sexy TL (Telco Line) truck, which has a feature list which met my criteria perfectly. Sadly they could not meet my price point.

Then I switched my attention to the Bolero Camper, but that one turned out to be a bit of a damp squib... A truck more than a jeep, I just could not imagine turning up at work everyday on the Bolero Camper. Oh, there was also this small issue of fit and finish and niggling problems of loose or hanging trim.

My Bolero Invader got delivered to me, in a mixed state:

It was very dirty and dust ridden on the inside.
There was mud, yes, lots of mud on the floor mat, which by the way is rubber. With nothing else over or under it.
It had paint damage in two places. Both of which were nicks and scratches.
Then there is this problem with the soft top not being able to hook up with the eyelet on the tailgate because the eyelet and the velcro strap are not aligned. It's off by 4 inches...!

Other than these and some other smaller issues, the Invader is so much fun. The commanding view of the road is wonderful. The engine begs you to revv it, and I am waiting for the running in period to get over so that I can do just that. I am attaching a few pics of the Bolero Invader, taken from my phone cam. please don't expect SLR grade images...:)

Stay At A Tea Plantation Guest House - Glendale Stays

2007-09-25T07:53:00.000+05:30

Having never travelled up to the Nilgiris, I went with an open mind and no opinions or expectations.

I was on a photo assignment, so I thought I might as well make the best of it.

To start off, the trip from Bangalore is really relaxing. I drove, and the Bangalore Mysore highway is good. I did a 100 almost all the way to Mysore. Leaving Mysore, the roads are still good, except for a short stretch of about 20 or so kilometers, where I was barely doing 50. Once you approach the forest areas of Bandipur on the Karnataka side of the border and Mudumalai on the Tamil Nadu side, the roads get wider and very very good.

The approach to Ooty and then Coonoor is good. The roads are wide and winding, though it does narrow down a bit on the ghat section.

Ooty was a bit of a disappointment, with surging crowds of disorderly tourists almost every where. Reminded me of Nainital. But once I crossed Ooty town, the scene changed dramatically. There were wide open spaces with beautiful hills and tea gardens.

Oh, and I need to say this. There are large signs posted everywhere says that the place is plastic free... Plastic bags are banned in the Nilgiris, and littering is not encouraged at all!!!

Coonoor is a quaint old town, with that wonderful narrow gauge railways that we see in movies, with propah steam engines and little diesels, all exquisitely maintained.

Just 5 kilometers from Coonoor , is the Runneymede Guest house, owned and operated by Glendale Estate. One of the largest and most awarded tea estates in the region. The grounds of the estate Guest house is excellently designed and maintained. The guest house is surrounded on all sides by tea gardens. The experience is called Glendale Stays, and the website for GlendaleStays can be found here http://www.glendalestays.in/

The Glendale Guest houses can be rented as a whole for large groups or if you want the property all for yourself. You can also opt to just rent it by rooms.

The staff are very friendly. The multi-role chef and caretaker is commendable. He can cook up a storm at very short notice. You name it and he can probably cook it. Me, I chose the ethnic Indian cuisine throughout, and he out did himself. Delicious vegetarian food and a couple of times I did experiment with the chicken dishes, and I must say that I will probably award the chef a high 8 out of 10...!

Eco trails or eco-tours as might be your preference, is what you can enjoy best here. You can just pull on your favorite shoes and head out in the morning, and any direction you take from the guest house, will take you along delightful paths on the hillsides. The view will constantly surprise you. The hills are always green and weather permitting, you will always find yourself in the clouds, literally. The clouds just roll in so silently, it is a wonderful experience.

I believe the contact person for GlendaleStays is Rina Otter, and she can probably organise your entire trip and itinerary for you. The website, http://www.glendalestays.in/ has more details.

The Sigma 10-20mm F4-5.6 EX DC HSM Ultra Wide Angle Lens

2007-08-20T17:20:00.000+05:30

Finally had a clear day, with enough sunshine, so I decided to road test the Sigma 10-20mm F4-5.6 EX DC HSM ultra wide angle lens, which had taken up residence in the camera bag.
Now, this lens is wider than the Nikkor 12-24mm, and is not a fish-eye. I am very very happy with it.

The lens delivers better optics than I expected. this is the only non Nikon lens I have and it is amazing! The colors and contrast is outstanding. The price is even better. It is just half the price of the Nikon 12-24mm.

The Sigma 10-20mm ultra wide angle lens is equipped with the HSM (Hyper Sonic Motor) focussing system. Similar to the SWM system from Nikon, this lens is silent and fast when it is auto-focussing, on my Nikon D40 DSLR camera.

Here are a couple of pics I shot using the Sigma 10-20mm...

You can read about the lens here.

Nikon D40 Digital SLR

2007-08-20T08:11:00.001+05:30

About the Nikon D40 Digital SLR, there is quite a bit to talk about.
Nikon broke a lot of barriers with the D40, including price, and weight. The Nikon D40 DSLR is the lightest and lowest priced SLR in the market. At the same time, it is not light or cheap in any of its features or functions. Out-of-the-box, mine came with a kit lens. An AF-S DX Zoom-Nikkor 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6G ED lens. This lens at 17mm f/3.5, is quite handy, and it has a somewhat respectable zoom to a normal focal length of 55mm at f/5.6. This lens is in Nikon's G series which essentially means that it does not have and aperture ring. The aperture is controlled by the camera. This lens is part of the "kit" that is supplied with the camera.

Also different on the D40, making it vastly lighter than the competition, is a lack of a built-in motor, for the auto focus mechanism. The Nikon D40 uses a motor in the lens mechanism to do its auto focus activity. Called the SWM (Silent Wave Motor), these lenses tend to be super quiet while it is focusing, and not to mention, quick. Really quick!

The menu on the Nikon D40, is perhaps the most intutive little piece of software I have seen on a camera yet. It also has a whole set of programmed exposure modes, which allows you to use the D40 like any point and shoot camera, while at the same time, allows you the ability to further tweak those setting to give you complete control over the picture that you take.

I for one, am grateful that Nikon has decided to go ahead with the SWM system of focusing, instead of the screwdriver approach.

Nikon D40 Digital SLR

2007-08-20T07:53:00.000+05:30

For the past few weeks (more like a month and a half), I have been using the Nikon D40 Digital SLR camera.
Moving from the Kodak CX7430, the Nikon D40 is a world apart!
Ofcourse the fact that it is a Digital SLR is not something that you can just ignore. The pictures are amazing. I can now take pictures, "creatively", the likes of which, I would not have dreamt about with the Kodak point and shoot.

Good Skin, Teetth & Bumping And Grinding

2007-04-27T12:48:00.000+05:30

Been visiting the doctor rather reguarly, and the last one was interesting. I met the doctor on-the-fly.

She was out, and I was sitting in the reception area. She blows in, switches on this huge smile and says, "Hi Ronnie!"

The rest of the conversation was a bit of a blur...

Me: "Hi."

She: "Come..."

Me: "Okay"

She: "We'll take this room."

Me: "Okay"

She: "Okaayyy...?"

Me: "Shirt...?"

She: "Okay..."

I take of my shirt, she looks/peers closely, and "Hmmm..., looks good"

Me: "Yeah"

She: "Okay..."
So, shirt goes on again, and she says, "Nice shirt!"

Now, I was doing just fine till then, but when I heard a compliment from my doctor, first about my skin, which I let pass, and then about my shirt, it got to be a little too much to handle...

So I go something like this..., "Yeah, its an old one... Tie dyed. But then I am trying to make a statement you know... "

Immediately after saying that, I was quite thoroughly blank what statement I was trying to make with a bright red-dish/orange-ish tie dyed shirt anyway...?

So, gathered up what little dignity I had, and went back again to the office, met up with friends and a dentist! of all people and went to Athena... drank a drink, shook a leg, and met Keshav, another colleague there. Not in the same order, but close...

Just A Wee Bit on iPhone - Unlocked iPhone

2007-04-27T11:56:00.000+05:30

I know a lot of you out there are looking to get your hands on the iPhone from Apple.

Right now, to get an iPhone, you need to have an Cingular/ATT account...

To get yourself an unlocked iPhone, you need to have someone who has a Cingular account, buy an iPhone, and then request a Subsidy Unlock code so that you may use it with other networks. The only thing that may stop you is that ATT uses Sim cards and the i phone out in June/July will require a sim card to operate. You could also buy one off eBay and then call Apple for the Subsidy Unlock code tell them you are traveling out of country!

Enjoy!

The French Dislike Themselves. Indians Are That Way Too!

2007-04-27T11:31:00.000+05:30

Some very interesting survey results last week showed how people see themselves and their countries...

According to the survey, the French hate themselves more than the Americans dislike them, and that, in large percentages.

However, what makes the whole thing even more interesting is another survey which says that a large percentage of Indians (43%) are tepid/lukewarm about their own country.

Now, even more interesting stuff. In Philippines, 57% of people polled thought India in a very negative manner.

India also has the dubious distinction of being the most loved, by the most hated nation in the world, Iran.

Inspite of being partners in growth and economy, 44% of South Korean have negative opinions about India...

I think I will not buy a Hyundai Car, an LG TV, and Samsung Monitor. When my LG monitor goes bad, I will not repair it! So there!!!

Oh, and if you want all the gory details about India, go here http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/002957.html

Women And Men's Underwear

2007-04-27T11:10:00.000+05:30

Don't believe all that hype about expensive women's under-things...

According to answers to question on Yahoo Answers, there are a lot of women who actually wear and even more interestingly, LIKE wearing men's underwear.
Lots of them confess to wearing or owning men's boxer shorts.

In Bangalore, I know of a lady in my circle who confessed owning and wearing a few Jockey boxers.

And the number one reason for doing that? Believe it or not, it seems you get fewer wedgies with men's underwear and they are also more comfortable.

I mean, all this, after the male bashing that we have to put up with...!

Indian Coffee and K&N Air Filter From Radio Indigo

2007-04-27T10:26:00.000+05:30

Two free gifts/prizes in as many weeks!

Well last week, Radio Indigo had a competition about what was the most popular drink in the world, and I answered correctly stating that it was Coffee. So Cindu Chandrashekharan, awarded me a coffee hamper. It had coffee powder (ground, not instant), two very pretty mugs, a coffee filter to brew the coffee in, and a nice t-shirt with some Coffee bean motifs..

Then yesterday, I participated in another quizz/competition on Radio Indigo. the Big Breakfast hosted by Cindu again, and the question was how many kilometers does a K&N Air filter last. So, I answered it as 1,600,000 Kilometers (yeah a million miles). So I won myself a K&N airfilter! Worth a few thousands...! Thanks, Cindu. I also participated when Rohit Barker popped a question about the color of a K&N filter, on the previous evening, but someone else won that one...

Radio Indigo is cool. Rohit Barker is wierd! Probably more warped than I am, even though listeners get to hear only the sterile part of him come through the airwaves, I get the feeling that someone is probably holding him back by the bra straps... Probably the moral police or the I&B Ministry... Either way, he's fun. So I guess I should forgive him for not giving me any prizes... I used to really look forward to his show in the mornings, early on, when he was VeeJay-ing.

What Radio Indigo really needs to do is change Jeffrey Thomas' playlist or, reschedule it a bit, maybe. I would rather not listen to metal that early in the evening..., that too when I am not sloshed on the good stuff.

WARNING!

2007-04-12T11:21:00.000+05:30

If a man comes to your front door and says he is conducting a survey and asks you to show him your tits, DO NOT show him your tits.
This is a scam. He is only trying to see your tits.

Sillier Than Thou (or Crappier..., you choose)

2007-04-02T07:54:00.000+05:30

It's not all a crock of shit! When you are sitting on a hundred and forty billion or so of corporate networth, you can afford to have a down-the-toilet sense of humour and actually get away with it.
Google has successfully taken April Fool's day to a new (low) level. This year's April fool prank involves a link on the Google home page, to a site offering consumers free high-speed wireless Internet through their home plumbing systems.

According to Google the project code-named "Dark Porcelain" said its "Toilet Internet Service Provider" (TiSP) works with Microsoft Corp.'s new Windows Vista operating system. But sorry—septic tanks are incompatible with the system's requirements.

For adding more authenticity, the gag included a mock press release quoting Google co-founder and president Larry Page, a step-by-step online installation manual, and a scatological selection of FAQs. On some Google sites, the company's official logo—a multicolored "Google" that changes according to the season and on holidays—substituted a commode for the second "g."

And then there's the gem by Marissa Mayer, Google's Vice President of Search Products and User Experience that: “I couldn't be more excited about, and am only slightly grossed out by, this remarkable new product. I firmly believe TiSP will be a breakthrough product, particularly for those users who, like Larry himself, do much of their best thinking in the bathroom

To see the miracle technology, start here... http://www.google.com/tisp/

Random thought

2007-03-31T13:52:00.000+05:30

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

A friend of mine, is very determined to lose some weight. And accordingly, has taken measures like a strict vegetarian diet of late and a plan to join a gym. Of course, in the whole bargain, it is not yet clear what the final objectives are. Just that the immediate objective is to lose weight.

Weight, is a very funny thing. Once you get it, it just hangs around, being really friendly, and companionable.

Cleanly

2007-03-25T16:14:00.000+05:30

I told a colleague that I had seen pictures of the Kumbh Mela where tens of millions of Hindus were seen taking dips vigorously in the Ganges river, and some of them were actually jumping in the water. I asked if she thought that tens of millions Indians and elephants congregating in one spot may have knocked the earth's tectonic plates out of alignment causing the earthquake in the Himalayan foot-hills.

"No, I don't," she said a bit insulted. "We are a very clean people. It's considered good karma to start each day with a bath."

Before I could stop myself I blurted out, "Yeah, but not in a river full of elephant shit!"

To Men-Kind

2007-03-25T16:06:00.000+05:30

Women believe if a pet cat strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home.

Women believe if a pet dog strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home.

Women believe if a woman strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home.

Women believe if a man strays, it's because men are scum.

Pollution

2007-03-25T15:39:00.000+05:30

Bangalore is the only place you can wake up in the morning and hear the birds coughing in the trees.

Bump & Grind - Bangalore Style

2007-03-24T19:19:00.000+05:30

I went partying this weekend..., with CeeKay (Chandra Kumar) of all people!

First off, the man has élan. I only wish ten years down I would be able to say the same about me...

About the party itself, I really don't want to go into the nitty gritty of the invitation process, except take it from me, it was hilarious, if nothing else.
And I really need to convince myself somehow that good manners dictates not to arrive at a party on time or early? We were early enough our hostess had not put on her shoes yet. A little while after we arrived, she went away, vaguely mumbling something about "chappals".

There were a couple of other people we knew over there, but other than that we generally vegged. And I got plastered. Yup, second beer and I was so woozy, I could have done a Coyote Ugly on the food table.

There were a few ladies who fired up the dance floor. The "floor" in this case was the cemented courtyard of a generously large home off Sharjapura road. There were a couple of tables with chairs around them and another fair scattering of chairs everywhere on the grounds, where people were catching up with each other and discussing Godaloneknowswhat.

There were also a fair smattering of people visiting the TV every so often to check the score, as India was playing Sri Lanka...

To rub it in, India lost another World Cup, yeee haaa!

Me, well, I hung around the periphery, trying to keep the lowest profile I could. I missed my dancing friend and partner, else I too would have loved to do my moves, and a little bump and grind on the floor.

CeeKay, got dragged onto the floor and got to dance with the somewhat plastered hostess' mom. It was fun and I think everyone there had a ball.

We left at a time when I think things were just starting to get warmed up. Yes, it had been a long-ish day and I was feeling blue about another looming weekend, with no salvation in sight.

Here are some pics I took using the Sony Ericsson 790i CyberShot phone camera.

The Dancers...

The TV Viewers

Be right back

2007-03-22T17:46:00.000+05:30

Sigh.... I got a pimple... I think I am growing younger, about 16 and harmonal. Definitely not something I expect at my age anyway.

Perfection

2007-03-22T17:37:00.001+05:30

I strive for perfection. Atleast I try to pretend that I am almost getting there or on the verge of my next perfect breakthrough...

You see, at work, everyone before me were legendary perfectionists and have had 100% success rates. Far ahead of my minor triumphs. How can I fight that sort of history and legends and come out smelling of roses?

Actually, I don't even try. I just say, "Uh huh" "Uh huh" a few times, with a look of wonder and awe on my expressive mug and hope for the best, every time someone recounts how they can leap over mountains, and conquer the oceans.

After all, I am in complete agreement to what Mark Twain had to say on the subject. He said, "Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."

Oh, and ITIL never prepared me for this anyway. ITIL is only about IT Infrastructure Library.

Yeah, tell me 'bout it.

2007-03-14T08:18:00.000+05:30

So, I totally vegged out, had a lazy dinner at a Malayalee (Kerala) restaurant called Kairali, in Koramangala. Food was good though limited, as my companion was somehow on a Lent/weight watch routine, so to be polite, I too had to have a peas curry with Kerala paratha (Mallu style=Parota)...

After dinner as I neared the car, I kicked a somewhat large stone, and whatdoyouknow, the dashed stone has go and whack itself on a Rs.1200, dainty shoe!
I was like ohmygodi'msosorry i'msosorry i'msosorry i'msosorry.

But I still got the look and the raised eyebrow (probably got called a neanderthal, in the person's mind). So I had to do the [didijustgetmyselfkilled.com] routine, running through escape lists and available info in my mind, figuring out how badly off I was.

So I did this spectacular thing just takes your breath away.

"Whassup?"

"What what's up?"

"Don't know... um... you know, you seem... unusually quiet..."

"Yeah...?"

"Um..., yeah, quieter than you know... ususal..."

Have a cookie?

Last word on France

2007-03-10T12:23:00.000+05:30

Found this little gem somewhere on the web...

AP and UPI report that the French Government announced today that in light of the Madrid bombing, France has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide."

The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate."

Another Point Of View

2007-03-09T08:31:00.000+05:30

Now that Women's Day is over, I think it will be safe to expound on another point of view, albeit shortly. Let it not be said later that Ronnie Jacob is a partial man.

Most men would respect a woman's mind more if it bounced gently as she walked.

Out-Sourced - Jay Leno

2007-03-05T18:19:00.000+05:30

"I was trying to find stuff to talk about today, it was a slow news day, so I found this. On this day in 1492, Columbus set sail from Europe, looking for a sea route to India - and ended up in America. And ironically, if you make a call from Europe to a company in America today - it's re-routed to India." -Jay Leno

Tribute - Womens' Day

2007-03-05T14:24:00.000+05:30

"One never notices what has been done; once can only see what remains to be done." -- Marie Curie.

There are many reasons to celebrate the female spirit. Neither your hardships, nor your virtues should be ignored.

You have the best of both the worlds. You can be tough, gentle, strong or subdued, and or all of them together. You can have one of the hardest and slogging-est days at work, and still find the time and the energy to attend an event in a sexy dress with strappy sandals. The best part about all the choices that you have, is not having to stick to just one.

You laugh when you are sad, and you cry when you are happy. They say that a woman's emotions are her weaknesses, but they are actually her greatest strenghts.
You, are the ultimate multi-tasker. You can run a house and a home, and, you can keep your career on track. Simultaneously!

Jean Shinoda Bolen wrote: "women are experienced in looking after the children and fragile elders, cleaning up, setting the house in order, being frugal with resources, putting food on the table, maintaining peace in the family, and staying on good terms with the neighbours." And that's in your down time!

You can always find a new face in your make-up bag. Your appearance, as demonstrated by a well known hair-cut recently, can be your greatest ally and your most feared enemy, often, in the course of the same day. Yet, no matter how you think you look, your masterful skills with a make-up set, and natural radiance can produce a wonder of the world. "

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points." -- Mae West.

Your beauty is second only to your strength. It has been written that a woman grieving a loss will find strength even when she thinks she has no strenght left.

Your girlfriends - a support system that can rival any in the whole wide world. You know how valuable close girlfriends are. As confidantes, friends, sources of encouragement and reality checks, they are your ultimate support system.

I wish you a Very Happy Women's Day. You rock my world.

Evidence Of Crime

2007-03-05T11:55:00.000+05:30

When I was younger, I always knew when my Mother dropped and broke something in the kitchen.

You see, if it was my sister, or my father or me, there would be a lot of very vocal yelling.

If it was my mother, then silence used to reign, for quite sometime...

2007-03-05T11:51:00.000+05:30

Dear Blog,

I think I want to retire. I'm sick of this whole 'wake up early and go to work' thing. I've got better things to do with my time. Like reading, writing, being more hands on in the process of raising my children...

Ah, who am I kidding. I tried reading a book once, and it was slow going. I kept waiting for dick to catch Jane and do the nasty, but all they did was buy a dog and run in the park. And writing? Please. You, Dear Blog know the kind of hack I am. And raising my children? Shiiiit. I'd kill the little buggers inside of two days.

Oh, hey, it's 10:30 a.m. Time for my daily nap.

Coal-miningly,

Me

Extorting-ly

2007-03-03T11:30:00.000+05:30

A friend of mine invited me to play badminton with her. I hunted down my old racket, blew the dust off my shoes and showed up ready to play.

"Sixty Rupees, please," the lady at the front desk said.
"Sixty bucks to play badminton?" I was astonished.
"Well, you're not a member..."
I said, "Leave my member out of this. How do I play for free?"
"You have to be a membe...you have to join the club."
"Isn't there someone I could sleep with to get in for free this one time?"
She looked me up and down. "No."

Happy Women's Week

2007-03-03T11:05:00.000+05:30

To all the modern, wonderful and empowered women out there today, This little piece is dedicated to you.

Stand in front of your husband or boyfriend, and look down at your shirt while spelling the word "attic" out loud.

Generation Gash

2007-03-03T10:52:00.000+05:30

While on the subject of different generations, I remembered a little something that used to be said to me when I was deemed too precocious...

"Stick to what you know best..., your dick!"

True to that, I now tend to stick to my dick because it IS what I know best. Me and Mr. Pappu have done quite a bit of traveling together and have been through some pretty tight spots--But we've always come out grinning... Except for that time we were cruising down the Goa Highway. The road was nearly washed out by heavy rains and oozing slush....

Evolution Of The Woman

2007-03-03T10:22:00.000+05:30

From toons of a woman being dragged into a cave by the hair, to my mom's generation, to present day...

For now we will ignore the cave ladies and move on to my mom's generation. On my way to work, sometimes I see kids roller skating down MG Road accompanied in a car or an a scooter by doting mothers, usually at 6:30 AM in the morning, when there isn't much traffic, to cause a hazard. These kids are kitted out with helmets and elbow and knee pads to protect them from injuries if they have a spill.
Flashback to my generation when I was young, I would pull really dangerous stunts on bicycles, ropes or trees, within feet of my mother and all she would probably say was " Slow down, your going to hit your father's scooter!" My mother was more worried about my dad's scooter than my cranium any day.....of course, the scooter was relatively new then.

Holy shit, people! This is going to the extremes of being neurotic. What with everything around us carrying warning and safety devices. I used to make dangerous go-carts, in the back yard and run it downhill, and halfway through remember that we did not fix the brakes. But after hitting the bushes, a few times, we learnt to fix it before the ride. I did not grow up with seat belts, airbags, safetly strips on wall corners and new safety straws that stop kids from getting the hiccups when they drink too fast (just tell the greedy little shits to slow down when they're stuffing their faces).

I mean, this generation needs stuff like safety warnings at fast food windows with words like CAUTION, YOUR ASS WILL BE BIGGER THAN IT APPEARS WHEN YOU EAT THIS!!

If we fret so much about protecting their skulls what about protecting what goes into those little minds?! Fuck the helmets, just outlaw Britney Spears, news of Anna Nicole Smith and all the other crap of little or no consequence, and their heads will be just fine and dandy. Really, Britney is just a psychotic tramp, and Anna Nicole's baby has had more press than most Indian politicians.

2007-03-03T09:58:00.000+05:30

Wonderingly...,Hooben gleeban glaban globan... It seems the Germans have once again gone mad. All week, my inbox has been bombarded with German spam. The bad thing is I was told not to open any of it for fear of getting a virus. What a waste. What if it's good German porn?

I hate to think that I'm missing out on frolicking frauleines going to town on a country cow or something like that.

This spammer should get his act together. He's missing out on the entire English-speaking market. When he realizes that, I'm sure, who ever he is, he is bound to be one sauer kraut.

Subtly

2007-03-02T09:44:00.000+05:30

I wonder why things get difficult for hetero-sexual couples?

See, its Sunday night and the kids were asleep. The wife and hubby were playing cards. She is winning when he raised an eyebrow and said, "How about a nice romantic evening in bed with yours truly? I'll take you to heights rarely reached by mere mortals. You'll experience joys you've only read about. Your body will become so highly tuned that you will channel some ancient goddess of love."

Her eyes twinkled as she said, "That's hard for a girl to resist, baby."

So he grabbed her hand and led her away to the promised land. As they were walking he said, "You know, it wouldn't kill you to occasionally initiate these proceedings."

"And how would you have me do that?" she asked.

"Simple," he said. "Just grab my hand and say, 'I want dick.'"

In Bad Taste - Or, Things I Have Concluded

2007-03-02T09:19:00.000+05:30

Princess Diana was on the radio?
Yeah, the radio, the windshield, the dashboard...

Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone. That's actually what caused many of their deaths.... pillow fights.

Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drinking:

Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon.

Things That Are VERY Difficult to Say When You're Drinking:

Specificity; Cogito ergo sum; British; Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate.

Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE to Say When You're Drinking:

Nope, no more beer for me; Sorry, but you're not really my type; Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? Oh, I just couldn't--no one wants to hear me sing!

Redemption passed me by

2007-03-01T21:06:00.000+05:30

There really wasn't any redemption. My earlier rejoicing was premature... status quo ...

France - A travel Advisory

2007-02-27T12:16:00.000+05:30

The following advisory for travelers heading for France was compiled from information found thoughtfully all over the Internet. It is intended as a guide for software engineers from India and travelers only, and no guarantee of accuracy is ensured or intended.

General Overview
France is a medium-sized foreign country situated on the continent of Europe, and is for all intensive purposes fucking useless. It is an important member of the world community, although not nearly as important as it thinks. It is bounded by Germany, Spain, Switzerland and some smaller nations of no particular consequence or shopping opportunities. France is a very old country with many treasures such as the Louvre and EuroDisney. Among its contributions to Western civilization are champagne, Camembert cheese, the guillotine, and body odor. Although France likes to think of itself as a modern nation, air conditioning is little used and it is next to impossible to get decent Mexican food. One continuing exasperation for tourists and software engineers is that the people will-fully persist in speaking French, although many will speak English if shouted at repeatedly.

The People
France has a population of 54 million people, most of whom drink and smoke a great deal, drive like lunatics, are dangerously over sexed and have no concept of standing patiently in a line. The French people are generally gloomy, temperamental, proud, arrogant, aloof and undisciplined; those are their good points. Most French citizens are Roman Catholic, although you'd hardly guess it from their behavior. Many people are Communists and topless sunbathing is common. Men sometimes have girls' names like Marie and they kiss each other when they hand out medals. Travelers are advised to travel in groups and to wear baseball caps and colorful pants for easier mutual recognition. All French women have small chests, and don't shave their armpits or their legs.

Safety
In general, France is a safe destination, although travelers are advised that France is occasionally invaded by Germany. By tradition, the French surrender more or less at once and, apart from a temporary shortage of Scotch whisky and increased difficulty in getting baseball scores and stock market prices, life for the visitors generally goes on much as before. France also killed more Germans when the Concorde crashed, than they did in two world wars.A tunnel connecting France to Britain beneath the English Channel has been opened in recent years to make it easier for the French government to flee to London.

History
France was discovered by Charlemagne in the Dark Ages. Other important historical figures are Louis XIV, the Huguenots, Joan of Arc, Jacques Cousteau and Charles de Gaulle, who was President for many years and is now an airport. The French armies of the past have had their asses kicked by just about every other country in the world.

Government
The French form of government is democratic but noisy. Elections are held more or less continuously and always result in a run-off. For administrative purposes, the country is divided into regions, departments, districts, municipalities, cantons, communes, villages, cafes, booths and floor tiles. Parliament consists of two chambers, the Upper and Lower (although, confusingly, they are both on the ground floor), whose members are either Gaullists or communists, neither of whom can be trusted. Parliament's principal pre-occupations are setting off atomic bombs in the South Pacific and acting indignant when anyone complains. According to the most current intelligence, the current President is someone named Jacques. Further information is not available at this time.

Culture
The French pride themselves on their culture, although it is not easy to see why. All of their songs sound the same and they have hardly ever made a movie that you want to watch for anything except the nude scenes. Nothing, of course, is more boring than a French novel (except perhaps an evening with a French family.)

Cuisine
Let's face it, no matter how much garlic you put on it, a snail is just a slug with a shell on its back. Croissants, on the other hand, are excellent although it is impossible for most people to pronounce this word. Travelers are therefore advised to stick to cheeseburgers at McDonald's or the restaurants at the leading hotels such as Sheraton or Holiday Inn. Bring your own beer, as the domestic varieties are nothing but a poor excuse for such.

Economy
France has a large and diversified economy, second only to Germany's economy in Europe, which is surprising since people hardly ever work at all. If they are not spending four hours dawdling over lunch, they are on strike and blocking the roads with their trucks and tractors. France's principal exports, in order of importance to the economy, are wine, nuclear weapons, perfume, guided missiles, champagne, high-caliber weaponry, grenade launchers, land mines, tanks, attack aircraft, miscellaneous armaments and cheese.

Conclusion
France enjoys a rich history, a picturesque and varied landscape and a temperate climate. In short, it would be a very nice country if French people didn't inhabit it, and it weren't still radioactive from all the nuclear tests they run. The best thing that can be said for it is that it is not Spain. Remember no one ordered you to go abroad. Personally, I always take my vacation in on a beach in Goa, and you are stronly advised to do the same.

The Working Class

2007-02-27T10:51:00.000+05:30

Only when a tree has fallen can you take the measure of it. It is the same with a man. -- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

So here I am, fairly okay mental state of mind, albeit terribly sleepy. I was up most of the night, celebrating redemption. I tossed and I turned. I shut my eyes tight, and I counted sheep. I got up twice to whizz, I drank water, I drank tea. But no hope.
I slept for less than an hour, before my body clock had me wide awake as usual at 5:00.

So now, I am groggy, but excited. Eyes burning from acute lack of sleep, and happy. There are about 10 or so labourers digging a trench to lay brightly colored fiber optic conduits for a telco. I can watch this all day! From the looks of it, India is waking up, and the hour is now.

"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and watch it for hours." Anonymous

Gift Of The Gab

2007-02-19T08:36:00.000+05:30

A nubile young lady, thoroughly attractive and comely, peered at me through her spectacles and said, "Ron, you have the gift-of-the-gab".

I guess I take that as a good thing. Lately though, I have been busy removing one foot after another from my mouth...!

Anyway, the lady in question has an impeccable repution, is a bit of a geek and a nerd. She is however trying to shed that image, and last heard, a few kilograms too.

Status?

2007-02-18T10:31:00.000+05:30

alea jacta est

meendee. Inspired.

2007-02-15T16:58:00.000+05:30

A very talented photographer, is how I would describe meendee.

I first got in touch with her about a very nice set she created called Network Of Roses, which I saw on deviantART.com

She has been extremely generous to me and I would like to acknowledge it here.

I highly recommend that you visit her website and also her deviantART gallery. They both have independantly good images. Excellent compositions, and very gifted use of light and perspective.

Way to go, meendee!

The Old LINC Office, Made-Over

2007-02-13T09:02:00.000+05:30

Just a picture, of the old LINC Software office, which has had a make-over after we vacated the building. The building now is glass fronted and looks quite contemporary.

But then it was always more to do with the people there, than how the building looked.

Driving, on a day of strike (Bangalore Bandh)

2007-02-13T08:33:00.000+05:30

Yesterday was Bangalore bandh. Its like a general strike, but politically motivated, to embarass the ruling party. The cause was a dispute between the states of Karnataka, Tamil Nadu and Kerala, about the distribution/sharing of water from the river Cauvery. There really is no cause for a row of this magnitude, but as always, you can trust politics to completely derail and or magnify even the tiniest of issues, out of proportion.

So, there were hooligans riding up and down the streets, on motorcycles and tractors, shouting slogans and making complete asses out of themselves. They made everyone close down their businesses, including large corporates and also mom-&-pop corner shops. The only shops I saw open were a few druggists.

So as usual I drove around the familiar places. But the only difference was that I could drive everywhere without a care, as there wasn't a single soul on the road, except for an occassional vehicle pasing by. The Bangalore police did a wonderful job, and at a few places, blocked off intersections, and were painting zebra stripes at pedestrian crossings! After all, there was no traffic.

Here are a couple of pictures of deserted roads.

Ring Road near Koramangala, and Indira Nagar 100ft Road.

Belly Button Lint

2007-02-09T12:38:00.000+05:30

What is belly button lint?

"A mixture of clothing fibers and dead skin is "surfed" into the typical belly button by mid-weight happy trails", suggests Karl Kruszelnicki of the University of Sydney. According to Wired, Mena Suvari and Britney Spears were spared this indignity, as were our Cro-Magnon ancestors. Why? Mena's outie doesn't collect it, Brit's piercing blocks it, and Ogg's thick body hair stopped fuzz migration.

Fashion a la Sci-Fi

2007-02-08T12:52:00.000+05:30

According to WIRED - Feb 2007, magazine,Some highlights of the Best Sci-Fi Flick Fashions included the following...

The Predator's Body Suit
PREDATOR
He may sport an effete fishnet body stocking beneath his hunter accoutrements (seriously-look closely), but the Predator still picks off Ahnuld's entire entourage.Who's the girly man now?

Morpheous Sunglasses
THE MATRIX
Laurence Fishburne's awsome clip-ons snap to his nose and are so reflective that you can actually register Keanu's envy in close-ups. "Dude, my shades are totally bogus."

That's funny...

2007-02-07T09:16:00.000+05:30

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I've found it!), but 'That's funny...'" -Isaac Asimov

I was trying to create an intranet site using a popular WYSIWYG software, and after struggling for the second consecutive day with formatting different layers, I noticed different items getting highlighted on the right hand side pane of the software. I leaned forward and took a closer look, and guess what? There is this really nifty little window which highlights the layers as you select them, and I can just change the settings there. No more struggling. See, all I had to do was RTFM..., Read The Fecking Manual.

That in turn takes you back to the age old question. I wonder who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what on EARTH did he think he was doing?

Destroy a meeting - How To Mini-Series

2007-02-02T16:07:00.000+05:30

We were about 9 people in the conference room, meeting to discuss a new web portal. About 20 minutes into the meeting, I just had to message (SMS) another colleague across the table.

Me: This is sooo, boring.
He: I don't care, as long as I get my salary. Do you think this will lead to a physical fight?
Me: Let hope so, at least a cat-fight...
He: I hope there is a fight. There are a couple of others here I want to beat up.

Well, that was the end of the meeting, as far as I was concerned. Choking, I had to leave the room, before everyone ended up with coffee sprayed from my nose...

For Cindu

2007-02-02T14:45:00.000+05:30

Cindu Chandrasekharan accompanies me to work, everyday in the morning.

Hosting the Big Breakfast, on Radio Indigo, from 7:00AM, she is is usually playing my song. Her playlist is scarily similar to what I would load on my iPod...

The best part about Cindu, is that bucket of positive energy with which she whacks you in the face, bright and early, on the dreariest of mornings.
I have no choice but to crank up, and look/feel cheerful.

For a little background, Cindu is a radio jockey and a consultant in media. She completed her Bachelors in Arts in Mass Communication, English Literature and Psychology, and, she has an English honours degree in Themes in contemporary poetry and literature in popular music.

Oh, and before I forget, she plays my requests.

Life

2007-01-31T14:47:00.000+05:30

Life is spent between episodes of women being mad at you.

The right thing

2007-01-29T10:05:00.000+05:30

The proper response to "Good morning" is not "Prove it!"

At least I am sure my good friend would probably have responded that way.
I was just entering the office building and I heard my name being called. Looked around and saw my friend and colleague walking towards me. So I stopped and he immediately starts telling me about how he was riding his Royal Enfield Bullet and once he reached into the office parking area, he took a slow turn, but the bike just skidded out from under him.

You see, the cobble stones had water on them, and since that particular area has relatively higher amounts of traffic, the stones were smooth. Thankfully, he walked away with a bruised knee and some ego and dignity damage...

I felt good that I did not say, "Good Morning" to him and then have to prove it to him that it was...

End of an era?

2007-01-27T09:41:00.000+05:30

On Thursday the 25th of January, 2007, I was told to save fuel. I felt good at the time that the concern was genuine.

I did not know then that there was a deep dark plan, a conspiracy to unseat me.

Sometimes I wonder if this whole thing is worth continuing, and why I shouldn't just execute an exit clause.

Jerks On The Road

2007-01-25T08:55:00.000+05:30

Today was especially taxing, on my way to work. After leaving home, I got stuck behind a truck carrying LPG cylinders. The truck was travelling at about 25 and 30 kilometers per hour, and I was following faithfully, hoping to get enough space to overtake... Took me 3 kilometers in 3rd gear.
Then when I got the space, I was just starting to overtake, when this small car pulls up beside me, and the young driver flips me a birdie, and zips on ahead.
Feeling more tolerant than usual, I decided not to chop-up the little bugger with my Jedi light sabre.

The incident reminded me of the Dave Barry quote, "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers."

Dental Plan

2007-01-25T08:49:00.000+05:30

My cousin Nibu, is usually my dentist. A specialist dental surgeon, I still jittery about visiting him for “dental reasons”. Or any dentist for that matter. I know I have to go, I'm just apprehensive about people putting sharp metal objects into my mouth.

But the thing I hate the most is when the dentist talks to you during the procedure. "So, what do you think of that weather out there?"

And you have to answer him like the school teacher on the Peanuts cartoons, "Waa waa waa, waa-waa," because you have a steel hook under your tongue.

But what I really, really hate the most is when he answers back like he understood you. "Yes, it sure IS cold for the end of January."

Hey, buddy, what I really said is, “if you gouge my gums one more time with that hook I'm going to stick that little suction tube up your nose.”

Anyway, I think Nibu is really good at his work, and has an excellent bedside (chair-side)manner.

I Am Being Watched

2007-01-24T08:26:00.000+05:30

I think that someone must have surveillance equipment set up in my car, because every once in a while, someone on the radio will tell me what what station I'm listening to. It's the same with the TV in my living room.

That really freaks me out, you know?

_

Women - Points to ponder

2007-01-24T08:00:00.000+05:30

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more
often."

Murphy's Law

2007-01-24T07:51:00.000+05:30

Murphy's Law has finally been written down in an equation.
This one, "If anything can go wrong, it will" , is one of the older Murphy's law.
This can now be written as ((U+C+I) x (10-S))/20 x A x 1/(1-sin(F/10)) where U=urgency, C=complexity, I=importance, S=skill, A=aggravation and F=frequency

You can try Google for an ocean of info on Murphy's law, including some about the origins.

Designs, and other arty things

2007-01-23T09:36:00.000+05:30

Geeta John, is a designer, working primarily on contemporary space and interior design for commercial and residential projects, and also sets for film and photo shoots.
She has been talking to me about the nitty gritties about executing interior(s) projects, on an ongoing basis, and had a few gems to share along the way. I am trying to motivate her to do a website, with her portfolio.

I did get to see a residential project that she executed, and to a noob like me, it was a thorough eye opener. I was given the grand tour(s) by the property owner, CeeKay (Chandra Kumar), from rather early on, during the time it was being constructed, and I was there for the house warming. I was astounded by the level of attention that went into the details. Truly, someone wasn't joking when they said that "God is in the details"

A designer is responsible for the interior design, decoration, and functionality of a client’s space, whether the space is commercial, industrial, or residential. Interior designers work closely with architects and clients to determine the structure of a space, the needs of the occupants, and the style that best suits both.

Geeta John is a combination of many people rolled into one, for the job that she does. For example she is a combination of an engineer and an artist. You see, it takes a unique type of mind to handle both these concepts well. From her I learnt that designers have to be good with more than color, fabric, and furniture; interior designers must also know materials, have budgeting skills, communicate well, and oversee the ordering, installation, and maintenance of all objects that define a space. Geeta also needs to know quite a bit about electrical capacity, safety and construction. This uniquely broad range of required knowledge distinguishes an interior designer from and interior decorator!

Geeta has this ability to work with contractors and clients alike, planning and implementing all aesthetic and functional decisions, from faucet handles to miles of carpeting to thousands of color coordinated floor tiles—and all this she usually does within a fixed budget.

Because there are times, like with CeeKay's project, when the designer is given the brief and the project when the work on the actual construction has not even started, she has to be able to comfortably be able to read a blue print and do her scheduling, based on the actual progress of the construction. This ability to balance the practical with the aesthetic is crucial to being a successful interior designer. According to Geeta, interior design is hard work, but those who do it well find the work very satisfying.

Believe me, Geeta is satisfied, in more ways than one. She works for herself and has the freedom and the leeway to be really picky and choosy about her projects. And at the end of the day, she knows that she has changed and affected the way people live and interact with built spaces.

English Police

2007-01-22T16:35:00.000+05:30

"In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.'"
--Robin Williams

If that is the case, imagine the ruckus the police must have made when they were chasing and arresting the subway bombers!

Must have sounded like a large bunch of football fans, rampaging...:)

Bribe A Traffic Policeman - Bangalore Style - How-To Mini-Series

2007-01-22T15:59:00.000+05:30

In India, there are a lot of things in the "Little Book Of Traffic Rules" also known as the MVA, Motor Vehicles Act, that a truck(er) cannot do.There are rules pertaining to loading, entry areas, operational areas, and the signages it has to display and so on. A trucker needs to carry a huge number of papers and documents to be able to ply and transport goods. Various vehicle papers, including tax, insurance, fitness (road worthiness certificate), invoices for the goods it's carrying, source and destination documents, sales and excise related proofs of payments etc.

A lot of times, most truckers don't always have all of these papers. This results in them making payments to varying levels of "authority" or officialdom along the route it travels. The "authority" will be in the form of different government department officials lying in wait at different points along the highways or town or cities, waiting to waylay the trucker. Also called inspection points or check posts. If the authority concerned is somewhat senior in the pissing hierarchy, he will have a jeep or van in which he will sit like some sort of a collector while 2 to 4 underlings will flag down the vehicles and demand the papers. "Flagging" down involves the underling lazily stepping into the path of the oncoming vehicle, normally a truck, and waving it to the roadside. There the underling asks the driver to produce the papers.
This activity happens anywhere, on the highways, just outside the town or city limits, or bang in the middle of a bustling city like Bangalore, in the middle of the day, within eye-ball range of a thousand passers-by.

Okay, back to the subject, of bribing...

There are two ways to bribe the authorities.

If its the RTO (Regional Transport Officer), then he will demand vehicle papers. If you are not in possession of the papers, then you have the option of whining about how its at home and if you are given 30 mins, how you can run and get it, but if the man does not buy your flavour of the bullshit, then you can try this, move quietly to the side, away from the senior officer, and try to slip 100 Rupees to the underling, and try saying, "Sir, please let me go, I have to go very far" or "Sir, my grand mother is in the hospital(or dying), I have to rush, and only you can help me to go on time." or something similar. Sometimes it works, sometimes the underling will balk. But normally, they are balking at the measly 100 rupees. Try to up the ante to Rs.200. Remember, never too much at one go, else they will get greedy and demand even more...

If its a Traffic cop, they will ask you for all the vehicle papers, to inspect. If you lack one or more, or if your papers are insufficient, then you can rest assured that the vultures will feast. These are policemen, so the initial asking rate will also increase. Depending on the rank of the officer, you can try to offer between Rs.100 to Rs.500. The cops with stripes on the sleeve are cheap. The cops with the metal ranks on the shoulders are expensive. As a thumb rule, always bribe based on visible ranks.

All the above is however, for idiots, and noobs, because if by some minuscule chance, the bribee is suspicious or honest (very very rare) of the briber's intentions, then not only will they throw the book at you, the can very well throw the entire library at you.

Truckers have evolved the art of bribery into something which astounds me! When these guys are trundling along a busy road, you will see the traffic cop in charge of a particular junction move into the middle of the intersection. When the truck approaches the cop, the driver will lean out through the window, with his arm extended, and in perfect harmony the cop will extend his arm up, to meet the driver's. Then, in a move mastered and evolved over millenia, a meagre Rs.10 (about US$0.25) changes palms! At no point will anyone notice details of the exchange, as the elapsed time between the giving and the taking motions is about 7 or less seconds. Most people aren't even looking!Anyway, after the policeman collects the money, he will immediately begin walking away, from the scene of the crime, back to the side of the intersection, while truck also merges and moves on with the traffic. While the policeman is walking, he will slip his hand into is pocket and deposit his earning there.

Some of these policemen however, are so jaded at this activity that they will actually glance at their palm to see how much was the collection.

The dis-advantage with this whole thing is that we end up seeing trucks far too often in areas where they shouldn't even be coming to.
You get vehicles with smudged or removed rear registration plates.
You get trucks that belch black Diesel smoke into the atmosphere.

Lastly, you also get idiots and newbies slapped with hefty fines when they try to bribe the wrong officers.

Please, don't try to bribe. But do keep your eyes open. You can see some serious shit going down. I have written this not to encourage bribery or corruption, but to generally provide an insight, based on my experience with by some enlightened beings who just "happened" to relieve me of my hard earned cash, and also to tell you what to keep your eyes opened for.

Fog and my Fiat Palio 1.6 GTX

2007-01-20T11:06:00.000+05:30

What up with Bangalore weather anyway, these days?

This was the scene on the road, at 7:25 in the morning, with visibility down to about 100 metres or so.

I drive to work on my Fiat Palio 1.6 GTX. Fiat India's top of the line model, and I had to drive in fourth gear for I don't know how long, because I just couldn't go fast enough to engage overdrive. So, for the first time in my 38 orbits around the Sun, I had to drive with my fog lights on, and the heater blowing warm air onto my feet. It felt good, but all I wanted to do at that point was to have masala tea and hot onion pakodas, a warm blanket and a movie marathon on HBO or Star Movies...

None of which could happen though, as I had to be in at the office, prepping the training room for the last day of ITIL training for my team and making sure that they had hot coffee and buiscuits when the arrived.

About my Fiat Palio 1.6 GTX, I think it is one of the better cars on the Indian roads and is very comfortable, has outstanding performace. It does 0-60 in 4.8 seconds, has 16 valves and has one of the sweetest sounding exchausts... My Palio came fully loaded, has power everything, airbags, sport pedals, a 32 bit computer and me the gas bag in the driver's seat. I absolutely like the car!

ITIL Training

2007-01-19T17:36:00.000+05:30

ITIL (IT Infrastructure Library) training I had some time back was very interesting. I discovered that I was already doing what the ITIL said I should be doing, maybe a little differently here and there, but in essence, the same thing.

So, I came back to work, and discovered that my languaging, vis-a-vis work, had altered significantly enough for me to start motivating every one else to go ahead and please do the same training, so that atleast we could all consistently behave and talk like we were from Mars (and two are from Venus). Easier said than done. Took me all of 6 months to convince. Then took me about 45 days negotiating with Frontier (a bunch of really nice people) we arrived at a price which I could pay and they could accept. Then I insisted that I would only want Roger Purdie, to be the trainer, because after all he was the one who did the training for me.
I like Roger's training sessions. He cam make something like ITIL so interesting.

So Frontier gets in touch with Roger, and it turns out, he remembered me, (as the guy who talked a lot, in his session). So, right now the entire IT team is closeted in the training and Roger Purdie from Down Under is holding the (virtual) lectern, passing knowledge and wisdom to the unwitting members of my extended team. Hopefully, they will also pass the certification, with good grades.

For me, its been good fun, organising a training like this, knowing that its the entire IT team, and that I am the only one holding the fort for 4,500 people. Oh, I am also in charge of feeding them and providing them an adequately academic environment, which means, coffee. on time, every time.

My Tool

2007-01-19T17:04:00.000+05:30

Today, on Orkut (Oh, and it's banned at work...) my fortune read as: "You have a special tool for success. Use it well".
And I am like, "Wow, how did these guys know??!!"

Strange, how things tend to crop up when you least expect it...

Stay Awake In Dull Meetings - How-To Mini Series

2007-01-18T09:58:00.000+05:30

YES, THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO FEND OFF A NAP THAN JAMMING A PEN INTO YOUR THIGH UNDER THE TABLE.

Open a window. Warm, stuffy rooms promote brain fog. Fresh air and street noise will help you keep alert even when the subject matter doesn't.

Apply (accu)pressure. Tap your fingers on your forehead, massage your muscles between your thumb and index finger, rub the base of your skull, or knead the spot below the knee.
Touching your private parts could also perk you up, but HR might obect.

Peel an orange. Or pop an Altoid or similarly strong mint. Citrus and mint aromas not only help you stay focussed, they also reduce anxiety and frustration.

If you're the boss, have mercy. Don't schedule meetings between 1 and 4pm. People get mighty drowsy after scarfing down large North Indian meals. And save those long, tedious speeches for morning sessions.

Google's Webmaster Tools

2007-01-18T08:10:00.000+05:30

Have started using Google's Webmaster tools. Atleast i should start getting some useful site stats, if nothing else.

Look Busy - (How-To Mini Series)

2007-01-17T14:14:00.000+05:30

The quick and easy way to become a slacker. Do nothing. Get more coffee. Repeat. How can you slack-off and still keep your job? Appearances, my friend, appearances. Low impact ways to look like and overachiever.

COMPLAIN THAT YOU ARE TOTALLY SWAMPED at every opportunity. Use phrases like “upto my ass in alligators” and “jumping from one fire to another” to make you job sound kind of sexy and dangerous.

“ALWAYS CARRY A PIECE OF PAPER with you wherever you go, when you are in the office”, Kit, my early mentor once told me. And to give yourself the necessary urgent facial expression and body language, imagine something incredibly important, like a stay of an execution from the president.

NEVER CLEAN YOUR CUBICLE and desk. After all, if you had any spare cycles, you wouldn’t let yourself live like a pig.

EMAILING LOOKS LIKE WORK. Email friends and family often.

IF YOU FEEL LIKE TALKING instead of working, talk to your boss. That counts as work no matter what you are chatting about. The ideal topic of conversation is how poorly all of your co-workers are performing.

IF YOU WEAR GLASSES, leave an old pair on the desk as though you will be right back. Then go home.

LEAVE VOICE MAILS FOR YOUR CO-WORKERS at 1:00 AM, even if you are getting up just to take a whiz. If you really want to inspire awe, leave a message for your boss with your thoughts on the company’s outdated filing system at 11:30PM on new Year’s Eve.

BE SURE TO GET INVOLVED in unquantifiable projects. You want to be doing a lot of consulting and advising and attending. Avoid anything with a hard and fast deadline.

LEARN TO SLEEP with your back to the cubicle entrance. You’ll have to practice to keep your head from slumping over, but it’s worth it. If you can’t pull that off, try a neck brace painted the same colour as your skin.

BITCH ABOUT YOUR JOB AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. This is considered work, even though it is fun.

iPhone - Last word, atleast mine...

2007-01-17T10:55:00.000+05:30

Lee Koo, editor of CNET newsletter says that a poll they ran showed that the majority felt "Blah, its only a phone", and quite a few felt that its the best thing since sliced bread...
But he also links to and blog by Tim Moynihan, who lists thirteen (that's right, 13) reasons why you should doubt the iPhone hype...

Personally, I am not anyway going to be buying the iPhone, any time soon because, I am not really all that soft on the bells and whistles thing, when it comes to a phone, so I believe, I will pass.

My Heroes - Are everywhere

2007-01-10T17:48:00.000+05:30

I got a mail from HR asking for nominating my hero(es), so that they can be honoured by having their picture put on the "Heroes Wall"...

Who "are" my heroes? I don't think I can name just one... Too many people affect my life constantly...

My mother, for being the example to follow. Bed-ridden with arthritis, but finding the strenght and the caring to keep-up and abreast of everything that happens around her limited universe. //Hero//

My father, for being the one person, that I have strived to emulate all my life. Someone who can do everything within his means to provide for and support a family of not-so-compliant members. Spends every waking hour, and then some, with just one intention, of making the last remaining time as comfortable as he possibly can, for my mother. //Hero//

Chandra Kumar(CK), and Rajan Narayanan(NVR), for being the absolute rocks, during the time that I was with them, working at LINC Software. They lead by example, and they lead by setting standards in humanity and professionalism, without fudging or being dodgy about either. I remember the really lean times when LINC was almost...., just before we got the pharma order from Europe. I remember hard times after 9/11.... But, at no point in time was there any question of giving up hope or just sitting back, awaiting any inevitables. Instead there was solid leadership, consensus building and requests for more shoulders to the wheel, with just a little tightening of the belt. //Heroes//

Dharmina Sarikar, almost on a plateau, but manages to re-invent himself and evolve into something that nobody, including himself, imagined. //Hero//

Sreedhar and Vijayendra, just like good firemen, but better. Come to work smiling, spreading their own brand of enthusiasm and joy. //Heroes//

Wincy, all brains and wisdom beyond her years. Contagiously positive. //Hero//

Richa. Street smarts, more than she lets on. Evolving and adapting. //Hero//

So who "is" a hero? Everyone who has inspired us, or, people who have affected us positively. I would also say that such people are too many, to individually name. I have decided, that I will not name any one person as my hero. Instead I will just go ahead and say "Thank You!", to everyone who positively influenced my 38 orbits around that star that we call the Sun.

Technology - For you and me

2007-01-10T16:01:00.000+05:30

At the CES (Consumer Electronics Show) on January 7, 2007, in Las Vegas, Nevada, there were a lot of gizmos, gadgets and general purpose items that consumers with somewhat large(ish) salaries could afford.

Really, how much of what was on display was really an all new innovation? A lot (most of them) of products were just the same old same old, with slicker looks, a tweak here, a tweak there.

I am waiting for that momentous invention, like say..., the wheel!!! Or maybe a super efficient and more importantly "practical" non fossil fuel car...:) Then I can get around to replacing my Fiat Palio 1.6GTX...

Cell Phone Theft... :-(

2007-01-10T14:15:00.000+05:30

Why don't Indian carriers just block the IMEI number of stolen cell phones...?
Friend of mine lost his phone last week and when he called the carrier, he was told that he would be issued a new SIM card, but the carrier could not do much about the device itself...
I believe they do not blacklist the IMEI number...

What is IMEI number, you ask?
IMEI (International Mobile Equipment Identity) numbering system is a 15 digit unqiue code that is used to identify the GSM/DCS/PCS phone to a GSM/DCS/PCS network.
When a phone is switched on, this unique IMEI number is transmitted and checked against a database of blacklisted or greylisted phones in the network's EIR (Equipment ID Register).
This EIR determines whether the phone can log onto that network to make and receive calls.

My message to people who implemented the design and to TRAI (Telecom Regulatory Authority of India), please, please implement it. Atleast cell phone theft will reduce, even if it is marginal...!

A lot of companies across the world are trying innovative techniques to make things a bit more difficult for the cell phone lifter.

In UK, Remote XT as the system is called, screams out shrilly in a woman's voice and also does a few other things, like wiping out all the data from the phone, and also from the SIM card, while locking all the keys . To activate the system, the owner has to call a hotline. Police belive that it could prove to be just the sort of deterrent that can stop a whole underground industry based on stolen cell phones.
RIM, Canada's Research in Motion, of the BlackBerry fame, are trying to pair the holster with the Blackberry device, such that if the phone and the holster get seperated, then the phone will lock-up and will prompt for a password. But then this will only work, if the the cell phone lifter did not also steal the holster...
NTT DoCoMo, of Japan, has released 6 models with GPS tracking incorporated, so that you can use the Internet to locate the b/-\stard(s) and confront them, Rambo style or with police in tow.

Me, I wouldn't mind all of them on my phone, keeping in mind the amount of data that a 1GB SD card can store...

iPhone - Or not

2007-01-10T12:38:00.000+05:30

So the iPhone is officially launched. Quite a bit of eye candy there alright, but will it really excite me enough to go buy one?

Historically, Apple has done the right things and touched the right chords by giving us products which have worked wonderfully, to fill in large voids in our online and also offline worlds.

The OSX, iMac, iPod, iTunes, and so on. Now we have iPhone, where we have had wonderful reviews and even more penis envy...

I used a Motorola MPx200 for just under 3 years, and loved the phone, because of its ruggedness and reliability. Okay, so Windows Smartphone OS has a few glitches, but hey, who cares. The reception is outstanding and has more features than the smartest of non-Windows smartphones.

The iPhone seems to do quite a bit more, and I am looking forward to getting my hands on a device. But then I also have serious concerns about a device from Apple's godown. I know fully well that it will be ages before I can get applications that I can download and install.

I am a compulsive customiser, so will I be able to get down and dirty with the iPhone, the way my Windows phone allows me to?

Tell me, Mr.Jobs:
Why should the device be so expensive? Why not just price it like a premium cell phone?
Why tie it down with a plan or a carrier? After all Cingular may not really be everyone's preferred carrier!
How rugged is the iPhone?

The travails of being an IT Support guy - 1

2007-01-09T09:10:00.000+05:30

Why is it that the worst and most serious cases on the helpdesk system have entries by the user saying "Network problem" as thge total description of the call?

I mean, wouldn't it be so much simpler if the person making the helpdesk entry puts in 60 seconds more to add a couple of lines like "Unable to connect to xyz's network using the site-to-site VPN? Its not that people are short of IQ, for heavens sake! It's more like, "the IT guys can just glance at my stupidly inane call description, and use telepathy to gather the details of the call directly from my mind".

So the annual DipStick survey had the following sampling of comments for the managers, etc. Typos have been generously included...

...only interested ....to maintain SLAs.
..... similar to Government burocracy .....
.... have forgotten the human behind the machine! (My Comment: I think the user is referring to Man Machine, by Kraftwerk)
Restart(ing) or format is not answer to all problems. (My Comment: Truly, classic...)

Then there are some all-time classic entries on the IT Support helpdesk, like...

Cieling fan makes toc-toc-toc noise (Ronnie's Comment: This one had us rolling)

Ladies bathroom door transparent. Ideal for shadow dancing when light is switched on.

PC not finding anyone in neighbourhood.

Not getting mails from some people.

These things, I guess are what makes/motivates you to come to work every day, and gives you the same high as, well..., playing Russian roullette...

How To Mini Series- Watch YouTube On iPod

2006-08-07T12:26:00.000+05:30

FIREFOX (Windows only)

Add the Greasemonkey extension to your Firefox browser.//
Go to www.userscripts.org and install the Download YouTube Video script.//
The next time you watch YouTube, you'll see a a Download Video option. Click it to save the file to your desktop as QaQw9Hj4.flv or whatever.//
Install and launch the free supervideo convertor(http://www.erightsoft.com)//
Select Apple-iPod from the Output Container option, and then put the output video codec H.264/AVC. Set the size to 320x240. If you get an error message when converting, unclick the Use DirectShow button. Otherwise, drag the converted file into iTunes and it's ready for viewing.//

Safari (Mac only)

Go to a YouTube video page, and wait for it to load, and open Safari's Activity window.//
Double-click the URL of the video file - it's the largest one - to download it.//
Rename the file to something better than QaQw9Hj4 - say Mystic Handstanding Chimpanzee.//
Drag and drop it into the free iSquint convertor (http://www.isquit.org) and - presto! - an iPod-optoimised video for your iTunes Library.//

Warm Sounds Of Analog Amps

2006-01-03T12:38:00.000+05:30

Just got myself a pair of huge speakers with 14 inch woofers, and now my assorted Hi-Fi (yes Hi-Fi) is complete once again. The difference between these speakers and my previous pair is huge.

I previously used to use a Mirage subwooofer and two satellite setup, made by a Calcutta company. This was a fairly good speaker setup, till I went and bought the 200 Watt RMS Sonodyne amplifier. After frying the subwoofer twice, I convinced myself that I needed a new set of speakers, but not something that I would pay a huge amount for.

So, I networked a bit and got in touch with Thomas, of Allen Electronics, in Bangalore, who in turn just happpened to have this pair of used large speakers "lying" around.
These speakers are 3 feet in height, 19 inches wide and 19 inches deep.

Sound
An average CD or satellite radio(WorldSpace) sounds really good. Bass is solid and clean mid-ranges and highs make listening a pleasure. When you turn up the volume to about 75% the bass response seems a little sluggish though. But over all I think its a very good investment, at Rs.5000(about US$ 108). the other options I had were JBL, KEF or similar, which would have set me back by atleast Rs.45,000 (about US$980).

Now, I said warm sound because the speakers, coupled with the Sonodyne amplifier has perhaps the warmest sound I have personally heard in a long long time. A bass guitar sounds like a bass guitar. Drums sound just the way they are suppposed to sound, not heavy and not booming! The mids are good, and Tina Charles sounds just right on tape. Abba is neat, like hearing it on an LP. clean and warm. But best of all, is Jim Reeves. Sounds like listening on a large old radiogram.

This being an opinion, I would like to elaborate that all the new boxes which play everything and has everything, just dont cut it, especially if the cabinets are all plastic, and have small speaker enclosures. To me, they sound tinny.

BTW, Thomas of Allen Electrinics can read a PCB( Printed Circuit Board) like how you and me can read English....